In how many ways can you say hello?

At the start of MS2, I came across some odd greetings.

-Friend: "Hey come meet Diane."
-"NOT NOW!"
30 min later we went out, and we see him show up at the same party.
awkward...

-"Hey Diane...look at you!! I just want to poke you, and beat you up!"
I ended up eating lunch with this guy.

-Me: "Hey Megan"
-"Oh, you're sitting here."
Hi?


My inbox has also greeted me every morning with a lovely reminder that I'm still earning negative income.